Thursday, May 27, 2004 @1:43 AM
I'm not always a listener, I do want to speak up sometimes and ask questions, lots of them. Once I've got too much crap I couldn't bear, I would be a nag and irritate anyone. I do mean anyone, so I'm apologizing to anyone i've even irritated.
So many thoughts going through me, some i can't type here. What am i going to do? I don't know. Guess I'll just have to forget everything and reset my brain. Its no problem right? I've done that before, i can do it again. Once again, I'm sorry to those who won't forgive me.
But forgeting isn't going to settle this matter right? Maybe i shall remember this time, maybe even viewing form a differen espect. I Don't Know what to do! ARRGGHHH!!!!! I really wish i could shout out loud, like i did when i was a kid in grandpa's
kampong. What this in my eyes, tears? I like to think of it as water of reflection. What do we ever get from crying? Sometimes it comfort, help or ever more scolding. But most of all, we cry for a reason and in that moment a tear forms, we give thoughts to that reason, we reflect. But I'm forcing it back, i don't want to cry, don't want to think anymore. I just want to get back to my happy go luck self.. this is all just crap.. the world is so wonderfully presented in front of us to explore and to experience. And the exsistance of my tiny little thoughts as compared to the world is holding me back from finding that presious someone. Or should i say driven them away.
AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! If you don't understand all those crap above, NVm then.. thats all i've to say